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Congratulations, Scully! You made the beautiful decision to steal adopt a shelter dog. Now that you’re taking home little Daggoo, you’re going to want to catch up on all the latest canine care advancements. You probably have questions. What should I feed my puppy? What’s the best form of flea and tick prevention? How do I stop him from being eaten by an alligator?

Well, not to worry, Scully. This blog is for you. Learn about everything you did wrong with Queequeg to add to your already enormous guilty conscience. Then learn how to fix it so Daggoo doesn't end up as dessert. Rest in peace, Queequeg. Rest in peace.



such fluff, much wow

Dietary Requirements

Dogs, especially small ones, are known for having sensitive digestive systems. You probably found this out when Queequeg took a few nibbles out of his first owner. The little man likely found his soft, fluffy tummy wasn’t meant for digesting something so rich. But you took him to the vet, got him some metronidazole, fed him some chicken and rice, and he was fine.

Now you may think you won’t have to worry about this with Daggoo, because as far as you know, he he didn’t eat his former owner, but who knows what Were-Lizards feed their dogs. I doubt Guy Mann was up to date on his canine veterinary nutrition knowledge. Poor Daggoo probably had to suffer through some Kibbles & Bits. So if you’re going to be switching foods to something not made of cardboard, do so gradually. That way his little tummy feels fine and you can give him all the belly rubs you want. Especially since the left side of the bed has been empty and you really do need some affection in your life because god help this fandom if you look for it elsewhere. 


Die Flea Die!

Parasite Protection

Proper flea and tick control is important for Daggoo’s health. You gave Queequeg flea baths, but the long-term efficacy of flea shampoos has been proven to be quite low. They need an oral or topical monthly medication to properly protect them. Living in the Unremarkable House, surrounded by all those woods and tall grasses, that’s gonna be a breeding ground for ticks. You’ll all get lyme disease without proper protection. Remember the last time you didn’t use protection? You don’t want to have to give another puppy up for adoption.

Oh, and make sure Daggoo is also on heartworm prevention. It’s a nasty disease and you’re living further south where the risk is increased. They protect against intestinal parasites as well. And you just know Mulder is gonna pick up something from the yard, where he regularly gardens as per fan fiction. Then you’ll have to take care of him because you’re a ~medical doctor~.



Harnesses, Scully. It’s time to buy one. Queequeg slipped out of his last (improperly fitted) collar because it wasn’t a harness. The fluffy little bugger would have lived to annoy Mulder for years longer if you’d simply used a harness. You can’t control dogs with only a collar when you haven’t been putting in the proper time training *ahem*. Plus, his breed is prone to tracheal collapse. They shouldn’t have an impatient federal agent pulling on their neck all the time anyway. Oh, and extendable flexi leashes are death traps.




First of all, let's talk about you randomly walking up to animals and trying to pet them. I realize that you desperately seek the affection of powerful men and when that doesn't work out you need to fill the void with animals or Buddhism, but seriously, you have to stop sticking your fingers in animal cages and then being surprised when the infected monkeys give you the alien virus you get bitten.

A good owner will put in the proper time training their new dog. Dogs shouldn't be allowed to jump out of the sink during baths or to run after alligators they want to be friends with. Training is key to protecting your dog's safety and your sanity. Make Mulder take Daggoo to some puppy classes. They could both use more socialization, and you don't want either of them peeing on the floor. 



Queequeg. 19?? - 1995. Eaten by an alligator because his owner didn't use a harness. Rest in Peace.